I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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