butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
