Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
