Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
