best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
