One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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