Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
smell my finger.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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