Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize