I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
