Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
