i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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