And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize