Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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