She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My bed smells like the plague
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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