I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
