i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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