That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize