I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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