Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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