Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
