omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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