Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
