Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize