I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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