If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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