From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
