I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
