I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
