in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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