I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
