to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize