My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think people are normalizing furries
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
