One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
