ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize