I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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