happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
