youre lurking in front of me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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