And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
