I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
