May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
