can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
