Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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