i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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