Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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