I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
