we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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