Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
