u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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