Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
