doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
