Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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