so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
