i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
