I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
