Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
