all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
