a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
