i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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