Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize