my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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