I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We are all done wearing pants today
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
