R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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