apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
