i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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