I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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