i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
